ADHD task initiation: how raising the stakes stops you starting

You may have noticed, especially if you have ADHD, that instead of getting started on something that feels slightly difficult or unpleasant, or simply something you've been putting off, your brain often comes up with creative ideas. One of those can be raising the stakes.

Here is a simple example. You have a meeting with a colleague in which you promise to deliver something: finish a task, prepare a document, whatever it is. The next meeting comes and you're not ready. Rather than asking for more time ahead of the meeting, and just being honest about what got in the way, you say, "As I was getting started, I realised that in addition to doing this, we should really do this other thing." Your colleague says, "That's a good idea. Absolutely sensible. Why don't we do this other thing, and then the thing we originally planned?" The temptation at this point is to say, "Great, I'll have both of these ready for our next meeting."

But notice what you've just done. Instead of leaving the original task where it was and acknowledging that you haven't done it, which might be uncomfortable, you've doubled up. You've also given your colleague the impression that you've started, when in reality you've at best thought about it. You had to think about it to come up with that framing, but that's most likely as far as you got.

This pattern is what I call raising the stakes. It can repeat itself for a while, until you're finally faced with the reality that you've added so much to the original task that it no longer feels manageable. The original task might have felt unpleasant or uncomfortable, but the end result is absolutely terrifying.

The short version

So how do you get around this? It's really simple. But simple doesn't mean easy: it means you have to go through discomfort.

First, admit that you haven't been able to do it. Not by making excuses, because that can undermine your credibility and break trust with your colleagues, but by being honest about what happened. While it might feel huge in your own head, it most likely doesn't feel like a big deal at all to other people. People routinely get delayed, and that's normal. So don't beat yourself up over it; acknowledge it and move on. Most importantly, don't build extra layers on top that somehow justify the original delay.

Second, break it down. We've already talked about breaking tasks down, but in short: if you simplify everything until the first part of the task is very straightforward, there's a really good chance you'll get it done, and having done it will motivate you to do more of the rest.

Third, accept partial progress. Instead of thinking about how to mask the fact that you haven't done what you promised in time, think about how you could show progress on a small part of it. Instead of saying "I've decided we need to do this other thing first", write half a page, a paragraph, or an outline. At least then you have something concrete to show, and it might help you feel less bad about not delivering on the promise you made.

Unfortunately, this pattern also shows up in promises you make to yourself. That's even more dangerous, because it's very easy to break promises to yourself: there's nobody to hold you accountable.

You might say something like, "I need to get my hair cut today." Then, "But before I get my hair cut, I really need to wash my hair." All reasonable. Then, "But before I wash my hair, I really should take half an hour to go for a run." Again, probably true, except for the "should" part.

At this point you're just putting off the original task, which was to get your hair cut. You've added one layer on top of it, washing your hair beforehand, and that's already a real risk of delay. Then on top of that you're saying it makes sense to wash your hair after a run, and you were planning to run anyway. Now you've chained three unrelated items into one big blob.

And if time blindness is also something you experience on a regular basis, there's a high chance you'll do none of these things. If each of these three tasks takes half an hour, then the moment there's less than an hour and a half left in your day, it's just not going to happen.

I've noticed this pattern in my own life, and noticing it is the first step to fixing it. Again, the fix is simple, but not easy. Start by acknowledging that you don't need to raise the stakes, and you don't need to chain different things together. Then break it down. If getting your hair cut feels like a challenging task, you can simply go online and book an appointment with a hairdresser or a barber. If that feels like too much, perhaps you can pull up a list of all the hairdressers or barbers open today within a reasonable distance of you. So again, keep it simple, and if you're not sure how to simplify it, use the Break It Down feature on Herding Chickens.

I hope this helps you break through the challenges of task initiation. And remember that Herding Chickens is always there to help you break things down, keep your momentum going, and celebrate your wins.

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Keep reading

• ADHD executive dysfunction: the harder route you take to avoid the hard thing
• ADHD one task at a time: why only one main
• If ADHD stops you from boring tasks, try a 5-minute sprint
• ADHD inner critic: why a two-minute win still counts
• More on Task Paralysis

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Herding Chickens is a productivity app in development, not medical advice, therapy, or an ADHD diagnosis. If you are struggling, talk to a qualified clinician. In the UK, start with the NHS ADHD in adults page.